Thursday, April 26, 2012

The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Viva Las Vegas!


First they got down and dirty running through the mud. Then they went glamping. This week the Real Housewives of Orange County are stepping out on the town and heading toward the bright lights of Las Vegas, Nevada.

Read on to find out more in THG's +/- recap of their most recent escapade!

Alexis gets a visit from Gretchen while she’s in the middle of cleaning up her own kitchen. Plus 5 right off the bat. Gretchen’s here to give feedback on Alexis’ stints on Fox 5, except she drops the bomb that Fox 5 called her first. Alexis gets her feelings hurt.

Checkin' Out the Internet

Gretchen tells Alexis it’s obvious that Alexis is nervous and says Alexis could benefit from trying to connect more with the audience. Gretchen’s advice was pretty tactfully delivered and spot-on. Plus 10.

Then, in a one-one-one, Alexis says it was killing Gretchen to be happy for her and it’s all Tamra’s fault. Minus 10, Alexis. You’re such a whiner.

Heather’s headed to an audition. She’s been an actress for “many years.” She hasn’t been working much lately because of her four children, but now that three of them are in school?  She’s seeking balance between her career self and her mother self. Plus 5, but good luck with that.

Heather feels really unsettled because she’s auditioning again and she’s opening a restaurant and she’s got kids and she’s got Terry. And an assistant to make sure everything gets done. Let’s not forget that.

Gretchen and Slade are hanging out at home folding laundry like normal people. Plus 10. Gretchen calls Alexis to invite her to the Pussycat Dolls performance on Saturday. Then she calls Tamra to complain about folding laundry.

Tamra says “If you don’t have a ring, you don’t fold a thing!” Plus 5! She invites Tamra to the performance and says she’s going to call Vicki to invite her, too. She doesn’t want Vicki to feel left out. Plus 5 for being the bigger person, Gretchen.

Minus 10, however, to Slade, for being upset that Gretchen plans to invite Vicki. Let’s keep in mind that this is partially his fault for Improv-ageddon.

Back at Casa de Heather, Terry’s having a pre-dinner pool game with their older son. It’s nice to see them just be sort of normal. Terry asks Heather how the audition went and she says it went well.

The part is a small role, but the show shoots in Canada. Heather says that everything they’ve done has been to further his career. Terry, playing Devil’s Advocate, says “Isn’t this life enough?”

Terry says, first and foremost, he wants Heather to do what makes Heather happy. If she takes a job working 15 hours a day, he’ll get two nannies and send the kids on set with her. If that’s what she wants. Plus 20.

Cat Doll of Pussy

But Heather’s not sure that’s what she wants. Dilemma, dilemma.

Alexis, meanwhile, isn’t finding quite the same level of support from Jim. She tells Jim she thinks she wants to get a coach to help her with the Fox 5 segments. He says “I don’t know where that fits into being a wife and mother. Where do you think you’re going to take this?” Minus 25.

Alexis thinks this could be a great move for her, but Jim thinks this is just another thing that affects the family. This could be a stepping stone back to needing a nanny! Jim thinks she needs to look at whether being away from the kids is worth some more money that he says they don’t even need. He’s losing more points for being such a douche. Minus 10.

Vicki’s decided to go to Las Vegas for Gretchen’s Pussycat Dolls performance. She’s using Brianna’s cancer-free diagnosis (again) as her reasoning for going. She’s putting things behind her. She realizes that she and Gretchen both owe each other apologies and she’s willing to give hers when the time is right. Plus 5.

Gretchen and Slade are in Vegas for the Pussycat Dolls performance. Her voice still isn’t 100 percent and she’s nervous.

Tamra, Vicki, Heather, and their men arrive in Vegas and spend their time in the stretch limo bashing Alexis and trying to figure out what Jim does for a living. “He says he’s an entrepreneur,” someone says. “Aren’t we all?” someone else replies. “I’m a doctor,” deadpans Terry. Plus 5.

Gretchen only has one rehearsal before the live show. It seems she’s got the choreography down but the tone and melody escape her. They run screaming away from her, in fact. Slade knows she’s going to be really, really good when it’s go-time. But right now, she’s struggling. And the Pussycat Dolls know it.

The Housewives and their men are hanging out like VIPs and Vicki throws Gretchen for a loop by being nice to her. To calm herself, Gretchen talks about Tamra’s small boobs. Then Gretchen works out her nerves by practically hyperventilating to the other women about how hard performing is and how nervous she is.

Gretchen Rossi, Pussycat Doll

And then Vicki wishes Slade a happy birthday and says in a one-on-one that her motto is “Be nice to people. It confuses them.” Which is weird because I could’ve sworn Vicki wasn’t on board with this when Tamra said that’s what her plan was now that she and Gretchen are friends again. Side-eye to you, Vicki.

Alexis and Jim arrive in Vegas and Alexis has hired a make-up artist to cover up the bruises from her “sinus surgery.” Minus 5.

Jim comes into the bathroom while the make-up artist is working and says, multiple times, that the make-up is too dark. And it is. It’s at least four layers thick. She washes it off and saves the day. Except she kind of does look like a drag queen like Tamra says in a one-on-one. 

Brooks creeps the whole table out by talking about the daily affirmations he sends to Vicki. I’m not even sure what he said even means. Something about man loves woman and woman loves man and I love you and Minus 10 for being weird.

Gretchen’s getting ready for her performance as the Pussycat Dolls Burlesque Saloon fills up. Alexis goes to find Gretchen to pray with Gretchen before the performance. Gretchen’s dressed like a stripper and Alexis’ boobs are hanging out and there’s something about praying right now that just seems a little weird.

But we’ll have to wait until next week to see if Alexis’ prayers for Gretchen’s performance are answered.

EPISODE TOTAL: EVEN! SEASON TOTAL: -25!

Next week, Gretchen will perform, Vicki will apologize, and Brianna will drop a bombshell on her mom. Stay tuned, and check back for our recap!

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